Azerbaijani Culture Update after 2 months

I keep saying that I have so many things I want to share about what I'm learning about the culture. So here are just a few things I've learned:
It is interesting to work with mostly Azerbaijanis. This means that there are a number of frustrations, but I certainly have the opportunity to learn about and get used to many cultural things. Thus far, the most annoying frustration is the lack of planning. This word is not in the vocabulary. It's true! I've looked for it as I'm trying to learn the Azerbaijani language and it doesn't exist!! So, this is something I found out the hard way and I don't know if I'll ever get used to it. I'm not the most organized person in the world, yet I am still an organization and planning freak. I can't deal very well with people coming up to me and saying, "we are having an important meeting with the Vice Rector in five minutes," or "there is a presentation happening in a half hour during the lunch hour and you need to be there," or "there is a luncheon upstairs in ten minutes that you need to go to," etc. With statements like the latter, I've learned the hard way that I need to ask what it is for and who is going to be there and 20 other questions. I described the luncheon that I had with the Ambassador/Rector/Deputy Minister of Foreign Affairs already in the Blog. That is just one example of when I needed to ask 20 questions to find out what the purpose is of all of these unplanned meetings, luncheons, presentations, etc. Otherwise, I find myself meeting all of these really important people with no prior knowledge or expectation. However, much of the time, I still don't know, because often the person telling me I must go, doesn't even know the purpose themselves. One day, I'm going to end up in a reception with the President of Azerbaijan and not even know it until I'm shaking his hand and someone is introducing me. I'm serious about this too, because there is a "plan" to bring him to the school as this school is mandated by the government, we just will not know until it happens at that very moment. So for someone who likes to plan and gets even my own classes cancelled at the last second or 45 minutes after it was already supposed to start because the students had to practice for their "fashion show" (yes, I am still teaching at the same school, diplomats and civil servants) or they are rescheduled post-poned, or whatever ... it is enough to make me crazy!!! And forget about ever making prior plans for anything or with anyone outside of the school! OK ... phew ... that is the most frustrating thing for me as you can tell.

Next, another interesting thing about working amongst the people, I learn about everything I do or have done that is offensive or is seen in a bad light of some sort in the culture.

First: I pluck my eyebrows! What a horrible thing! I am seen as spoiled and maybe even sort-of like someone who sells myself! Apparently, I am not supposed to pluck my eyebrows until after I'm married! They say they can either tell when women are married or not or if they have given themselves away otherwise if they pluck their eyebrows. Well, it may be a small thing, but it hasn't stopped me from plucking since I learned of this one.

Second: I learned awhile back that women don't sit in the front of the car. I only heard that it was just not supposed to be done from other Americans, but they didn't tell me all of the reasons. They are all married, so they probably didn't know all of the reasons. One reason they told me was basically a sort-of submissive one to the paternalistic society. They had also told me that if husbands were driving and no other men were in the car, then it would be okay.
However, I have had a couple of other experiences since being told that helped me to learn more. The first was when I was jumping in a taxi with three guys that I was going to play tennis with. They told me to sit in the front! Of course, they are all my colleagues and a little more Internationally experienced men, but I was still surprised. The one who had suggested I sit in front later told me that he thought I should sit in the front because I'm tall and he was trying to be a gentlemen. Obviously, I normally would not have questioned his intentions, but I did at the time, because he said you are "big" so you should sit in the front. I was a little angry because I thought he was saying fat, but found out later that he meant tall. It was all a misunderstanding partially because of my new limited cultural understanding and partially because of the language. (I should never have questioned the linguistic error, because my own father used to say I was a big girl, meaning tall.)
Then, a couple of days ago when I went to the Opera with another female colleague and her friends, they sort-of fought and laughed about who was to sit in the front with the driver who was the only male. We were all single, so they explained to me that it is not right for single women to sit in the front with single men. They said that the next day, anyone who would have possibly seen this would think that they are together. Just the night before I had ridden in the back with the single male driver of some friends of mine, who were not with us. We were the only two in the car, so I thought I should have sat in the back ... it is a struggle for me to know what to do. Then, when he took me back home, he invited me to sit in the front. So, of course, I live in a large city and don't expect anyone that knows us to see us together in the front, nor am I worried about it, but apparently this is not a good thing. Of course, with all of these things, there is always some level of understanding with foreigners. At least I have that going for me.

OK, this is just the beginning. I have so many more stories and pictures to share, but they'll have to be put off for another entry or 5 soon to come.