Azerbaijani Culture Update after 2 months

I keep saying that I have so many things I want to share about what I'm learning about the culture. So here are just a few things I've learned:
It is interesting to work with mostly Azerbaijanis. This means that there are a number of frustrations, but I certainly have the opportunity to learn about and get used to many cultural things. Thus far, the most annoying frustration is the lack of planning. This word is not in the vocabulary. It's true! I've looked for it as I'm trying to learn the Azerbaijani language and it doesn't exist!! So, this is something I found out the hard way and I don't know if I'll ever get used to it. I'm not the most organized person in the world, yet I am still an organization and planning freak. I can't deal very well with people coming up to me and saying, "we are having an important meeting with the Vice Rector in five minutes," or "there is a presentation happening in a half hour during the lunch hour and you need to be there," or "there is a luncheon upstairs in ten minutes that you need to go to," etc. With statements like the latter, I've learned the hard way that I need to ask what it is for and who is going to be there and 20 other questions. I described the luncheon that I had with the Ambassador/Rector/Deputy Minister of Foreign Affairs already in the Blog. That is just one example of when I needed to ask 20 questions to find out what the purpose is of all of these unplanned meetings, luncheons, presentations, etc. Otherwise, I find myself meeting all of these really important people with no prior knowledge or expectation. However, much of the time, I still don't know, because often the person telling me I must go, doesn't even know the purpose themselves. One day, I'm going to end up in a reception with the President of Azerbaijan and not even know it until I'm shaking his hand and someone is introducing me. I'm serious about this too, because there is a "plan" to bring him to the school as this school is mandated by the government, we just will not know until it happens at that very moment. So for someone who likes to plan and gets even my own classes cancelled at the last second or 45 minutes after it was already supposed to start because the students had to practice for their "fashion show" (yes, I am still teaching at the same school, diplomats and civil servants) or they are rescheduled post-poned, or whatever ... it is enough to make me crazy!!! And forget about ever making prior plans for anything or with anyone outside of the school! OK ... phew ... that is the most frustrating thing for me as you can tell.

Next, another interesting thing about working amongst the people, I learn about everything I do or have done that is offensive or is seen in a bad light of some sort in the culture.

First: I pluck my eyebrows! What a horrible thing! I am seen as spoiled and maybe even sort-of like someone who sells myself! Apparently, I am not supposed to pluck my eyebrows until after I'm married! They say they can either tell when women are married or not or if they have given themselves away otherwise if they pluck their eyebrows. Well, it may be a small thing, but it hasn't stopped me from plucking since I learned of this one.

Second: I learned awhile back that women don't sit in the front of the car. I only heard that it was just not supposed to be done from other Americans, but they didn't tell me all of the reasons. They are all married, so they probably didn't know all of the reasons. One reason they told me was basically a sort-of submissive one to the paternalistic society. They had also told me that if husbands were driving and no other men were in the car, then it would be okay.
However, I have had a couple of other experiences since being told that helped me to learn more. The first was when I was jumping in a taxi with three guys that I was going to play tennis with. They told me to sit in the front! Of course, they are all my colleagues and a little more Internationally experienced men, but I was still surprised. The one who had suggested I sit in front later told me that he thought I should sit in the front because I'm tall and he was trying to be a gentlemen. Obviously, I normally would not have questioned his intentions, but I did at the time, because he said you are "big" so you should sit in the front. I was a little angry because I thought he was saying fat, but found out later that he meant tall. It was all a misunderstanding partially because of my new limited cultural understanding and partially because of the language. (I should never have questioned the linguistic error, because my own father used to say I was a big girl, meaning tall.)
Then, a couple of days ago when I went to the Opera with another female colleague and her friends, they sort-of fought and laughed about who was to sit in the front with the driver who was the only male. We were all single, so they explained to me that it is not right for single women to sit in the front with single men. They said that the next day, anyone who would have possibly seen this would think that they are together. Just the night before I had ridden in the back with the single male driver of some friends of mine, who were not with us. We were the only two in the car, so I thought I should have sat in the back ... it is a struggle for me to know what to do. Then, when he took me back home, he invited me to sit in the front. So, of course, I live in a large city and don't expect anyone that knows us to see us together in the front, nor am I worried about it, but apparently this is not a good thing. Of course, with all of these things, there is always some level of understanding with foreigners. At least I have that going for me.

OK, this is just the beginning. I have so many more stories and pictures to share, but they'll have to be put off for another entry or 5 soon to come.

An important article

Since I have been in Azerbaijan, I have learned to appreciate the many freedoms and rights given to citizens of the U.S. One particular freedom that I have come to appreciate more is that of religious freedom. I am blessed to be able to attend Church meetings each Sunday, although there is not an actual chapel. Most churches and even some mosques in Azerbaijan have been destroyed in the past and I understand that this still happens on occasion as there is fear of radicalism. A different type of radicalism could take place in the U.S. if people are convinced that personal rights means something different than was outlined in the Constitution. I read this text from an address given to students at BYU-Idaho by Dallin H. Oaks, an apostle of the Lord, on lds.org, which helped me appreciate what could be fleeting even in the U.S. if the adversary succeeds in convincing people of his own definition of the freedom to practice religion.
http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/news-releases-stories/religious-freedom

More to come soon about my life and the culture here in Baku. I have books in my head that need to be typed.

The Princess' Palace

The bedroom

The bathroom

The living room and balcony

The kitchen and dining room.
Yes, that is a washer under the stove-top in place of an oven. I like having the washer, but sad I don't have an oven.

I talked with several before I left Monterey about the possibility of having a "palace" for an apartment. This palace idea stemmed from Nicole who was here for a few months before I took her place. She has said that her apartment was like a palace. I didn't get the same apartment that she did, but I am happy in my own little palace. I love my apartment! It is nice.

So a funny story about having my own palace is that I have since been likened to the "Princess and the Pea" by my colleague who is over the International students and expats at the school. I have this strange issue with beds and my back. I honestly have the pickiest back and can't really sleep well in any bed in the world except my own (which is why I have a hard time getting rid of it even when I move out of the U.S.). To explain: Basically, I will wake up in the middle of the night with my entire back in so much pain that I can't move, turn over, nor sleep anymore. Taiwan was the worst, because I might as well have been sleeping on cement on the beds they have there. Anyway, I slept ok for about a week here, and then it started. So, I tried to make my bed in different ways with the multiple "comforters" or whatever they are here which seemed more like thick, heavy rugs covered in a sheet. Anyway, I kept discovering I had more and more in the apartment, so I kept adding them and sleeping on them instead of putting them on me. The result is basically the princess and the pea. There is the regular mattress, which is sort-of like a box spring ... well, not really ... I could feel every spring on that one. Then, there is a much thicker mattress (?) or cover (?), I don't know. Then there are 3 more comforter/mattresses. So I'm half-way there, as I believe the Princess had ten mattresses and could still feel the pea. I still feel the pe-ain myself, but it has improved.

The Princess and the Pea mattresses

One of the greatest features of my apartment is the unique set of light fixtures. Each room has its own style of light, but my favorite is the "Speck" lamp that reminds me of "Horton Hears a Who." It would probably remind others of fuzzy oranges, because that is basically what they are. Either way, I love it! I'm sure there thousands of tiny communities like "Who-ville" on those fuzzy balls full of dusty specks! I promise that they are dusty too, because there is constant construction all around me as maybe only half of the apartments are finished in this building and the one right next to me is completely a dust den of nothing but dirt, and cement dirt, so there is tons of dust that I try to keep up with! I'm sure I'm killing thousands of little whos all the time. :( It's better for me, though, I'm allergic to the little guys.

Horton Hears a Who Bedroom Light

I'm sure you can find some whos if you look really closely!

The Multi-mood spider light, with the blue light around the interior trim.

The kitchen light with another colored light around the trim

The hallway light with the lighted trim

Going Private?

So, I know I just joined the Blog scene again, but I'm thinking of joining the masses and going private. The issue is: limit to 100 people?? That is annoying. OK, so I like to claim I have a lot of friends and family that may want to keep up with my life here in Azerbaijan. If you would like to be one of those, let me know soon.

One month in Baku

This past month has been full of unexpected occasions, yet expected learning about a new culture that I new little about, the Azerbaijani culture. I have had multiple experiences that I’ve needed/wanted to write down. Unfortunately, time, limited Internet, and the Blog that doesn’t want to work on that Internet have all minimized my writing.

Pictures at dusk on a drizzly Sunday Tail Light Christmas Tree
Notice the interesting traffic patterns (Clue: There aren't any)

Two Mosques visible from my apartment

One of many more stories (to be written):
My third weekend I was told on a Friday afternoon that I was having lunch the next day and that I would be picked up downtown where I would be on a tour with students learning about some of the history of the city. I learned quickly enough that there is no fair warning of anything much here. This example was prime. I had just learned of the tour with the students earlier that day and now I was going to lunch. That information was all I was left with. The next morning, I decided that although I would be walking for 3 ½ hours, I had no idea what the lunch was, so I better dress a little better than my Saturday city tour dress.

While I was on the tour, I learned from the professor from Italy that apparently the two of us would be having lunch with the Ambassador, which one neither of us knew for sure. Although, he had a name he’d been trying to practice so he could greet him. We about determined that he was probably the Azeri Ambassador, but to where, we didn’t know. The tour was fascinating. The tour guide is Azeri and lives in Canada, but was here for a number of months. He introduced himself by saying that he was neither a historian nor a tour guide. If any other historian or tour guide could have that much passion, he would be a hot commodity anywhere. This tall Azeri had dug so deep into the history of every building in about a 4-block radius that I couldn’t have imagined a more thorough knowledge by any other living person. He carried a large accordion file with picture from the last 200 years. The pictures were of buildings that were there prior to Soviet occupation or of the buildings that still stood from past times. For example there is an old famous (in Azeri circles) novel that is a true story that took place in the area, entitled Ali and Nino, and he showed us the schools or what were the schools that Ali and Nino went to. The pictures also included photos of families or people, especially old oil barons. We saw many of the houses or palaces that they lived in from the outside, including many old smaller run down places that included many people during harder times. Thus, Fuad had found the descendents of these people wherever they were spread throughout Europe, Russia, and Azerbaijan or as far-flung as they had ended up due to wars, occupations, or other causes of dispersions. The descendents all provided him with pictures of their ancestors and of the homes, churches that had been torn down, schools, and other buildings. The three hours was seriously amazing. Luckily, I am to have another tour with him within the Old City walls (Ichirishahar) with a different group of students. I have been here a month and have yet to actually tour any of these buildings that are the tourist attractions of Baku.

Old City Tour to come

Luigi and I were picked up back at where we began the tour and stuffed into separate cars that belong to the school; complete with our drivers we have for the school. I drove about a half hour out of the city to Retro, a fancy newer resort that I believe was begun by the Ambassador himself. I rode in the car with an Azerbaijani co-worker who is the director of one of the programs. Most of the conversation on the way ended up being questions and answers about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He told me he is not atheist, but not religious, and that he was curious what others believed. I answered questions and described much of the doctrine when asked. He was quite impressed that I would have given up a year-and-a-half of my life to be a missionary, who wasn’t making any money, but being supported, by my own savings, my family, and other members of the church. He was amazed that someone could have that much passion about a religion to volunteer to tell people about it. It was a great conversation.
At the resort, we were treated to a feast over a couple of hours. I was very confused about the identity of the Ambassador and never really cleared up my confusion until the following week at the office with another colleague. I thought I had met him my first day at the school when I first walked in and that he had been introduced as the Rector, but I had been a bit dazed and confused that first day with my jet lag. In any case, during the feast he was the Ambassador, I was still unsure about who he was an Ambassador for or to, but guessed that he was the Ambassador to the U.S. based on much of the conversation. Many of the other foreign staff members were also in attendance at the feast. Much of the conversation was about political topics, which is expected when I work for the Azerbaijan Diplomatic Academy. However, much of the conversation was about religion. Somehow it usually turns to that here, I’m finding. The group consisted of many religions (LDS, Muslim, Hindi, non-believing Italian Catholic, and others, I believe) and many who were not religious. The meal with at least 7 or 8 courses was fabulous. After each course, my plate was cleared and a new plate and utensils appeared with the constant whisking around of the wait staff. It was fascinating and I felt like I was being treated like a princess. I think that we must have dirtied at least 100 plates and 300 utensils during the course of that meal. In any case, the most interesting part that I wanted to recount came during tea at the end. I had already refused wine and all other like substances that they nearly poured into my glasses several times. Then, tea somehow became more difficult. I refused the first waitress who came along with tea and confused her completely. The Ambassador noticed and asked why I wouldn’t drink tea. He said, “you are in Azerbaijan; you must drink tea.” I just sort-of smiled and didn’t others around me shifted uncomfortably, because some had already discovered that I don’t drink tea on previous occasions. Luckily, the conversation moved on and I thought it had passed. Then, a ninja waiter who noticed I didn’t have one mysteriously placed another cup in front of me. The Ambassador spoke up and said, “there, now you have the choice again, to drink or not.” He waited and watched while I said something about not drinking tea and his wife asked if I’d rather have coffee, which I also refused. Everyone sat watching me to see what I would do as the Ambassador seemed to be expecting me to make the choice and I just left the tea in front of me and looked on. The Vice Rector sitting beside me, knowing my beliefs, relieved me by taking the cup and saying, “here, I’ll drink that.” That settled it, and the conversation carried on. I didn’t know how much I was offending, and hoped I wasn’t, but the Vice Rector saved me as far as I could tell.
The ride home was with the Italian and the other American who also asked me all about the Church. Actually, the American already knew a lot because she is the admissions director and had been a recruiter at a university in Pennsylvania, where she did a bit of recruiting at BYU. Thus, she had done her research on the LDS culture. However, the Italian professor had many misconceptions and had a very negative idea of the Church and was not afraid of expressing it. I again answered many questions and basically provided the history and the entire basis of our beliefs and the doctrine throughout the entirety of the drive home. It was not well received by Luigi, but Janice was generally interested and much more receptive.
I believe I mentioned in my original Baku Blog that it is against the law to proselyte or to preach about religion here. However, I can answer questions when asked. Prior to that day and since, I find that I am asked about the LDS Church and my beliefs two to three times a day, mostly at work. I am glad that I am allowed to openly answer questions and that many are impressed by much of what we believe, especially the importance we place on the family. Families are very important in the Azerbaijani culture. Also, many are surprised constantly by the practices pertaining to the Word of Wisdom and the Sabbath Day. I have several who watch out for me when it comes to both. For example, I have had meetings cancelled on Sunday by the Vice Rector because he knows I go to church and that I don’t work on Sundays, or I have had other colleagues who will tell me not to eat something because it has coffee or something in it. It is nice that they recognize that I actually do not only believe these things, but that I try to live them too and they genuinely want to help me to. It is impressive as most are Muslim, but not practicing or religious.